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The Malakoff News
Malakoff, Texas
February 18, 2011     The Malakoff News
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February 18, 2011

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Page 9A - The MalakoffNews I I Friday, February lS, 20il Does anyone choose to be ovetaveight? Enjoy car- rying around extra weight? Some think overweight people store tbod and can rely on this stash in times of emergencies. Well, science has proven the overweight, without being fed, would die faster than the slender because hefties have bodies that rely on food and its intake. Maybe it's an addiction, such as 1 have for crescent rolls in a can. You'd be amazed at the versatility of these babies. You can tool people who eat from your table with this magic dough in a cobbler or casserole. Good cooks are not al- ways the Fat ones. 1 am not much of a cook although 1 have some specialties. In my kitchen is tbod I didn't buy 15 years ago; I must keep my cholesterol low and my spouse is a diabet- ic. 1 can eat any food with- out salt, and who needs .pepper'? 1 supposed I'm no true Texan because I can eat all day (and usually do) without ketchup. The horror ofmy younger married days has come true. I outweigh my husband. Well, in some twisted sense of fairness. he is recovering from sur- gery and doing less in ac- tivities. So, he has lost 20 pounds and says it will stay off which means he'll also have to buy new clothes! Then this image would pop into my mind, a har- binger of fat, that in later life, I would be the big woman beside the skinny, shrinking man. We might be the same in height, but "little woman" of the house would bring laugh- ter. With our children, we moved back from West Texas to East Texas, and the battle of the bulges began. It was fast living, taking children to all their sports, lessons, birthday parties, and seldom having time to plan meals. I ate a cinnamon roll on the way to work. My husband went to a DQ and had some- thing. We each put on 60 pounds that we told our- selves, if we fbund time, we could take offat will. Not so. I sweated away 30 pounds twice as I aged, but always found room to take it back. Exercise made me hungD' as ex- perts are now admitting, but I didn't have to drink a soda and eat Hostess Snowball cakes, especially pink. Then I began getting shorter, shrinking; so did my husband. Had I eaten as he, I would be bigger. He likes late suppers and midnight stmeks. Now he's lost weight How do I feel? Be- trayed. The daughter in Kauf- man County called, "Mom, aren't women your age' Emily Lundy suppose to starting drop- ping weight from nature? And when did you grow at the top?" I blame it on hormones and my cache of medicine. Then I said Mother Nature doesn't like all people. I added I was trying to avoid more wrinkles. She said, too far away for me to reach, "Little late for the wrinkle part, isn't it?" She will pay, but I prob- ably won't be around to see it. Two of the children seem to be taking after me. They are on high blood pressure medicine and complaining always about some part of the body getting bigger or changing The older son said one day, "Well, Morn, you can't deny me. i'm getting just like you (ex- cept for his ~d facial hair)." If he knew what his name would be had he ' been a daughter, he'd be thankful for his likeness to me as his only curse. A speaker recently asked the audience if anyone knew the first question a woman asks herself upon waking? Of course, no one knew. She said women think of what they can wear with black slacks that day. Yes, I have a sup-. ply for good reasons. Black makes for neatness, smallness, and does not spot easily. I would wear jeans if I weren,t waistless. I do wear the elasticized waist kind sometime but work hard to keep this be- tween me and my body And I've noticed some- thing peculiar about my black slacks lately. The legs don't fit right. They have extra room. Either the pants are too old to be in style or weight is shift- ing from the legs to else- where or rm actually los- ing weight in the legs only, another horror I had when younger. The only positive ele- ment of being on the fluffy side is having it evenly distributed. Perhaps you wonder why I don't find a good scale and weigh, one where no one can see the outcome. 1 quit weighing years ago. If1 remove my shoes, jewelry, jacket, and do weigh again, it will have to be on a day I'm having a root canal or re- paying for bifocals be- cause I dropped one lens from the perfectly good pair in the john and now cannot find the lens-miss- ing frames. I lie. Doctors I see occa- sionally do have their at- tendants make me weigh. I just close my. eyes for4he ing and for doctor's fany. i: I suppose nearly all creeks have what is called "The Blue Hole." This is a hole in a creek where the water has the bluest tint. Normally, this is caused by the water being deep. The East Yegua (pro- nounced Yea-waw) is a creek that has its headwaters on Dave's place, and about half a mile from its beginning was "The Blue Hole." There were two springs feeding the creek just above "The Blue Hole" and these springs made the water in "The Hole" cold, even in hot weather. This was my t vorite swimming place in the entire creek. In the hot summer time, the cold water was just perfect for cooling off. You could dive offthe bank from the high side and never touch Clayton 'Buddy' Hazel mcl T e6 the bottom. The Hole had a sandy bottom, and when some other boys were there we would see who could dive to the bottom and come up with a handful of sand. Coming up with the sand proved that you reached the bottom. No one ever came up with any sand, and we all wondered just how deep "The Blue 'Hole'" was. I asked Dave once just how deep is "The Blue Hole," his reply was, "It has no bot- tom." I believed every word he said. I was talking the old seri- als that were shown at the movies on Saturday morn- ing. Every Saturday morn- ing kids would fill the the- ater to get the next install- Jeff Davis ment, in black and white of course, of Flash Gordon or Tom Mix or whoever, anti-climaxes I lost interest I, myself, was not a big in the serials but it was still fan of serials. An episode ftm going to the movies on would end with the hero in a Saturday morning. Girls, sure death situation, say the which I had begun taking elevator cable breaks and serious notice of, would also you see a glimpse his eleva- go to the movies on Satur- tor car disappearing down day rnoming. the shaft. There were also als on But in the beginning of radio which I did follow the next episode, by a really more seriously, Captain lame alteration of the script, Midnight (! had a decoder it turns out that the hero badge.), Terry and the Pi- wasn't in the elevator car rates and Jack Armstrong, after all. for example. After a couple of these The plot discontinuities City named for battl I've got to start off with a clarification. JoAnn Suds thought I was trying to tell you our Malakoffwas named Malakoff, France. When I went. back and looked, it could have been read that way. It happened last week, when I couldn't think of much to write about. So I resorted to giving you a history'and geography les- son. I told you that Malakoff, France, is located in the southeast edge of Paris, and what I meant to tell you was that both Malakoff, France, and Malakoff, Texas were named after the Battle of Malakoff- well, actually Malakov - which happened in Russia, during the Crimean War. I'm sorry if I eont'u~d any- body. If you live in Malakoff, or just, for some strange reason, find Malakoff kind of interesting, you need to have accurate in- form/ttion abom it. Some other time I'll tell you about the widow Jane somebody who started the first business in the area, out around Caney City, which got all Lore Humble Around this started. But first rll have to remember what her last name was. rll bet JoAnn can tell me. I justcan't seem to think of anything /ery interesting to tell you lately, so I've been looking for ways to fill space. Fran Estes and her kids liked last weeks quiz, so I thought maybe I could get by with it again. I don't even know where I got this - I just had it stored for emergencies like this. There is sort of a puzzle at the end of this, but I don't think her kids will score very highly on it. I knew them all except Black- jack chewing gum. MEMORIES from a friend: My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house {she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal 6 9 Years later when ! was asked where Dave and Nettle grown, I were to visit Dave were. He answered, "Nettie and Nettie. I crossed the died last winter and Dave is Yegua and thought about living in Thorndale with a "The Blue Hole." I stopped cousin." the car and walked down to I went to the car, got in, the creek to look at my fa- and had a good cry. I then vorite swimming place, drove to Thorndale to find i Looking at the water, I Dave. An important part of~ jumped in; the water was my life was over. still as cold as ever. I walked across to get to the high bank Clayton "Buddy" Hazell and to my amazement, the was born almost 80 years ' deepest place in "The Blue ago. at home, in a small Hole" came up to about my Texas town. He has been in armpits. I could bend over Malakoffsince 1973 and is and pick up a handful of recently retired as pastor of sand. As [ walked out of the Parla,iew Baptist Church. water, I looked back and His column is excerpted from cried. Even today as I type his book, "Memories, Tales this, tears are in my eyes. and Special Events ofMv Going to the house, I Li[b." lf you are interested in found the place deserted mad a COl~ of the boo& contact the house filled with hay. I The MalakoffNews at 903- went to a neighbor's and 489-0531. from the ending of onewere a jillion plot line pos;; episode to the beginning of sibilities which flickered the next were still there but and out of the story line. they were taking place in When I saw a Hardy Boys! my mind. I pictured the hero movie there was only one i grasping the edge of the ele- possibility, the possibility vator shaft as the elevator decided on by the maker of fell away from him. My the movie. mind versions were much It isn't as though the better so I liked the radio moviemakers don't get it serials better, right sometimes. The I liked radio a lot. I lis- movies made of Eric Am-. tened to the radio "Gun- bier books always seemed smoke" religiously, I seldom me to catch the flavor of tl e watched the television ver- books. "The Mask of Dim:; sion, tele sion was itrios" with Peter L0rre, sl[[ ~ ,t wrttten for television, not hey Greenstreet and Zae radio. I thought the radio Scott is a case in point. It ~ ~ soaps didn't transfer to TV was in black and white oF very well. course. Was this a great ~;~ When I read a book, say a movie or what? ~: Hardy Boys Mystery, theThus Spake the Old Fog),, story was played out in my thinking that Technicolor ru- mind and in my mind there ined the serious movies. during Crimean Crown Cola bottle. In themachines that dispensed bottle top was a stopper with glass bottles 5. Coffee a bunch of holes in it. I knew or diners with tableside jul i immediately whatit was, but boxes 6. Home milk delive~ my daughter had no idea. in glass bottles with card- i She thought they had tried to board stoppers 7. Party lines; make it a salt shaker or on the telephone 8. News- something. I knew it as the reels before the movie 9. P.F. bottle that sat on the end of Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. "IN the ironing board to 'sprinkle' test patterns that came on at clothes with because we did- night after the last show and have steam irons. Man, 1 were there until TV shows am old. stai'ted again in the morning How many do you remem- (There were only three chan- ber? nels [if you were fortunate]) Head lights dimmer 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy switches on the floor, lgni- Doody 14. 45 RPM records tion switches on the dash- 15. S&H greenstamps 16. board, heaters mounted on Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays the inside of the firewall, with lever 18. Mimeograph Real ice boxes. Pant leg clips paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. for bicycles without chain Packards 21. Roller skate guards. Soldering irons you keys 22. Cork popguns 23. heat on a gas burner. Using Drive-ins 24. Studabakers hand signals for cars without 25. Wash tub wringers turn signals. If you remembered 0-5 = Older Than Dirt Quiz : You're still young - If you re- Count all the ones that you membered 6-10 = You are remember not the ones you getting older - If you remem. were told about, bered 11-15 = Don't tell your Ratings at the bottom, age - If you remembered 16, 1. Blackjack chewing gum 25 = You' re older than dirt! 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles I might be older than dirt with colored sugar water 3. but those memories are some Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop of the best parts of my life. 10 Day Guided Vacation, Rainforest, Beaehes,Vokanoes. + tax Free Brochure. Call 1-800-Caravan. Available at 8 to 10 day guided tours. USA, Canada, Panama. Priced between SX~?. $1,295.