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[PAGE 12 - The Malakoff News - Friday, July 14, 2006
with Emily Lundy
!
: i
Of course changes occur ev- of other ways you could suggest
day, but not all are for :to dle reaching the company
rhe one bothering me the L, witlt your problem would be more
Lhe one keeping me in a small*" beneficial.
iown as 10ng as I can manage,it 3: Lo and behold. A voice, a
s the dehumanizing of i iive one comes on. She tells you
person, the people who bUy the She will switchyou to anotherlive
products that make the wQrid go i person. After a dozen calls of this
ound. As one, we're not tooim- kind, you hear how the first
portant, but as a unit we should breathing speaker says "quality,"
be strong, the L in the word. You soon re-
For that reason, I can't under- alize the next live voice will be
stand companies who have gone someone, usually male, speak-
to automized phone communica- ing English learned in Pakistan
tion.Well, that'snotentire!ytme, or Indian. You have been
It must be tied to profit for that warned, but there is little you
company, but whenever it's pos- can do.
sible, I'm dropping all my busi- These nice people try hard to
ness with that company. One help, but for some reason they
person won't make muchdiffer- have no authority, cannot under-
ence;myffusWationmightbe n- stand anyone from East Texas,
tagious, and can only speak louder to try
number," she tells you, or "Press
7." Soon the powers that taunt
discover these tricks being
handed out; they no longer work.
Sometimes, this same woman of i
wonder will give you a new num-
ber to call, guaranteed to reach
help. The number doesn't work.
"Guarantee" reminds me of an
old story when automation was
only a baby. A woman bought an
iron with a guarantee for a new
iron if the first failed her. Her pur-
chase for pressing clothes quit
getting hot; she wrote the com-
pany, and in return she received
pages of forms to fill out, This
she did only to receive more
pages of blanks. Another ex-
change of this kind, and the
woman took a red crayon, wrote
across the top of the latest form,
Here is what I can't under- to communicate. Why would a "My iron; she no work" and
stand from the big world of high company with millions in aprofit mailed it with her broken iron. In
finance:,base want to make someone like two weeks she had a new iron.
1. We make too manylphone meangry? Is it to get me to pay 5. Most of these calls afore-
calls to those we send payments my account off early? Is the mentioned are made with 800
. to that are answered by record- company somehow connected to numbers. I can be thankful for
ings. Then menu is given with medically inspired people who that. On the local level, however,
a
[numbers to press for your par- provide relief for stress to the why do I dial a number, have
[ticular problem. What if your frustrated people who are re- a recorded, voice tell me I must
[problem does not matchone of duced to tears trying to explain fir ,t dial a 1, only to redial with
" he numbers? ' to someone foreign why a $32 a ' 1," and be told by the same
LThereare tricksto use for hu- payment sbould be a $114 one. voice to redial without the one.
an connection, but the eompa-, : reminds me of my late I have begun shouting at that
nies discover these quickly, elimi- father-in-law's dilemma when he recording. I need stronger medi-
nating the power you had briefly underwent throat surgery twice cation.
by giving your account number, forcancer. Ofcourse, helosthis 6. Finally, if I go to the tmuble
pressing another number, etc or ability to speak and did not and expense of faxing my bank
using dead silence for along lime. have enough muscles left to gain statements and cancelled checks
2. Usually with recorded aUs, help in speaking through a de- to another miracously achieved
i
there is a wait time with dental vice. It took a long time to con- item--an address--and am i
office music playing in the back- vince people not to yell at this even given a Case number, what
'ground. However, a clearly spo- man to talk to him. He did not happens to my faxed material. I i
ken voice in English interrupts the have a "hearing" problem. This did this (six sheets) and never:
irnusic ever so many seconds to repetitive act by friends did give heard another word or had my
cell you . how important you am,-,as, something laugh about in mme tgk noutofcollecti0nsuntil
dO t marie-ten-more cailsi
h md lIy u'reloved, anything' 4. By gheet miracle, iit One Here lartt,knowing stress and
to keep you from hanging up and call you make, you may actually frustrations are killers, and I have
for what.9 hear a female who has heard of learned tricks to feeling laid back
t Does anyone believe you are the Mississippi River. She will after having my speedometer in
important to a company telling seem to be sympathetic and give the danger zone since I was 36,
you in a recorded voice.9 A few you ahint to reaching another hu- and the whole world is out to get
jokes, or statistics, or solicitation man. "Don't say your account me, little old me.
Administrator. Karen Abbe, RN
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Fogy
by Jeff Davis
ssaoul,
As I write I'm listening to Where can he find a pond in choice between leading a
the penalty phase of which to swim? long life and dying in obscu-
Moussaoui's trial; the out- Terrorism is an option and rity or dying a hero in the Tro-
come will presumably deter- he takes it. The boss terror- jan War and living forever in
mine whether he lives or ists see a lot of guys like minds of men. The jury will
dies. Well, I guess a jury can Sam, guys who don't star in make the choice for Sam.
only control when he dies, the movie of their own life And no matter what they de-
not whether he dies or not. and see possible stardom in cide, will it be out a sense of
As I learn more about this giving their soul to a cause, humanity or to get even?
man, who for convenience In his quest for self-impor- As the jury sits around a
I'll call Sam, I see the movie tance, Sam talks too much table deciding his life or death,
of his life taking shape, about his devotion to the ide- we see Sam sitting in a cell,
Sam leaves the womb and als of the cause and his imagi- thinking about his future. The
emerges into hell on earth, nary key position in themovie cuts to a sick, old, gray
This unfortunate circum- movement. The bosses seehaired Sam dying on a cot in
stance is exacerbated by his Sam as a diversion and scape- the prison infirmary at the end
being at the lower end of ac- goat in the big operation they of his life of imprisonment.
ceptable mental acuity; he's are planning. Then it cuts to a mob carry-
alittle slow. So Sam becomes part of ing banners with Sam's pic-
His childhood is out of the terrorist's successful at- ture and "Sam, the Martyr"
Dickens, in kind if not par- tack and because he was a painted on them. The crowd
ticular. Abused on all sides for day late and a dollar (among chants, "Sam, Sam, Sam "
reasons he doesn't compre- other things) short, he is the An AI-Qaeda cell begat
hend, he becomes insecure, only one left alive. The bosses The Twin Towers, The Twin
untrusting and loses any had probably foreseen that he Towers begat Afghanistan
sense of self-worth, would screw up. and Afghanistan begat Iraq;
While searching for his Sam is left to stand trial each child more voracious of
self-image he covers his in- alone. He rants and raves, human life than its parent.
security by overcompensat- saying that he is glad the at- Part of the original 9/11
ing and becomes loud and tack was a success; he group, Moussaoui alone re-
boisterous. He looks at him- curses that he was not there, mains to take the punishment
self in the mirror and sees Is he trying to get the jury for the root system of this
that he isn't going to make a to make him a martyr, to be grotesque tree.
name for himself in soccer, so contentious that the panel Probably the least skilled
the financial world, or aca- turns their thumbs down? Or member of the cell,
demics. He is unpredictable is his behavior a subtle re- Moussaoui ends up taking the
and sometimes uses the verse psychology and he nation's thirst for revenge on
kitchen sink to relieve him- doesn't really want to die. If his shoulders and thus be-
self, two traits that don't at- the jury thinks he wants to die comes the most famous ter-
tract people. He realizes that a martyr, they will let him rorist of them all.
people don't find him pleas- live. Does Sam want to live Thus Spake the Old Fogy,
ant to be around but doesn't or die? We' 11 never know. marveling at the fickleness of
know what to do about it. Achilles had to make a fate.
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